what's up santa and co?

it's boxing day... which means only one thing. SALES! yes, I did go out a purchase a few lovely items, but nothing I do gets that one thing off my mind. nothing can distract me quite right, nothing I buy, or recieve as a present can give me what I want. that stupid christmas song really did apply.

yesterday was christmas, and that is an exciting time for all, though I have decided that I much prefer the lead up to christmas, rather than christmas day itself. in my family, christmas day is quite... boring really. we see the whole family, we open presents, we eat.. a lot. and that's about it, no fun traditions, no nothing. although I usually love christmas, like it's my favourite time of year, but this year it just wasn't happening. I think I can figure out why.

this year I was away from the one that matters, the one person I actually wanted to spend christmas with, and couldn't. pretty sure I looked pretty gloomy all day, but as much as I tried, I just couldn't help but feel sad and a tad frustrated. everyone else got to see their person on christmas, why not me!? I know, I know, it's only been like two weeks, but still. oh how I would give to be graced with his wonderful presence. I can't get him off my mind, he's taken over it. nothing I do can stop the thoughts flooding it. maybe it's the distance that does it, I don't know, but what I do know is that it just doesn't stop. I feel like if I keep myself occupied then the time will go faster, but in my head, my time runs between when he's going to call, how long till I see him, and so on.

whether he knows it or not, I'm crazy about him, and it really is taking me so my strength not to just jump on a plane right now. distance is freaking hard, not gonna lie, not gonna sugar coat it, but man if this all works out, so so worth it, and I would not give it back. I guess I just have to be grateful for what time I do have with him, and know that it won't always be like this. It's also probably me being a moody teenage girl, whatever.  I just have to believe, because it is so worth it, and I ain't giving him up.